Whatever done was never seen, whatever said was never heard. Like a invisible air, squeaking between the molecules. How unfair this life could be.

People that should care never cared, 
people that should never care,
were forced to do otherwise, is this some kind of joke?


Say it's a poem,
say it's just a short-term down time, 
PMS or what so ever that would be judged. 
Face the fact, nobody knows.


Is it so difficult, 
so burdensome, 
so painful, 
so troublesome 
for people 
to comprehend? 
Isn't it ridiculously absurd and stupid?


well people can say "oh no here it goes again" 
but, what do you mean again? 
it isn't again, it's different. 
Don't they know?
It is so funny that people should care 
never did care.


"They were excuses" 
Excuses of? 
It couldn't even be answered
because it wasn't an excuse, 
it was reasons, facts, problems.


"You should find out yourself"
 How are these supposed to be found out 
when all that was given 
is misleading. Tell me.


"You can become a lawyer, you have no need to study any subjects. Just become a lawyer and study law"
Have you ever cared what did I want?
What I like to do?
What I would love to become?
What I would cherish when you both found out what I will become at that moment?


My problems were 
neglected,
left aside,
untouched,
hidden, or strongly wished to be forgotten,
unspoken,
my problems seems that it doesn't exist at all.


When lifted a hand to cry,
for help,
for guidance,
for teachings,
for love,
it was ignored and pushed away.


The results of confronting were
scoldings,
reprimanding,
shouting,
yelling,
snarling,
shrieking.


Yes, the problems were heard sometimes,
but it was lectured the wrong way,
the problems were half heard, actually,
and there was never a conclusion.


Say it's a complaint, anger, attention seekers, LOA, 
Yes, it was LOA.


How tiring it was to whip just to get a little bit of attention from them,
that it was needed to whip, cry, shriek, 
shout out from the diaphragm's muscles 
until pressuring the trachea,
the throat that could produce mesmerizing voices.
Just to get some people talking to you, shouting to you, scolding you 
and then demands you to shut up.


It was a good slimming exercise, emotionally and physically,
It needs strong muscles to produce high pitches,
Consistent mind to keep it going so it would be heard a little here and there,
Alert mind to keep the sign language going.


There wasn't anyone around somehow,
To pat the shoulders,
Bring the so-called chaos into a quiet state.
It was left alone, needed to calm itself even there were uncountable thought of unfairness
throughout the "stop it, chill, stop it"
and it was paused,
like the video game,
like the movie, 
like the Astro PVR.


And stopped.
Everyone will hope it would never be played again,
so everyone can keep ordering,
lecturing,
reprimand,
demand,
asked,
favor,
request,
please.


And let it forget what love was, because all of them were too skeptic to share and give some to it, to her.